Fish Story (TMI alert. Hey, don't say I didn't warn you.)

Without going into the gory details, I'll summarize the chain-reaction of reactions I had to drugs after Sprite's birth. Because it is relevant - not because I'm turning into certain members of my family who love to talk about ailments, their own and others'.

As a setup for the following information, know this - apparently I am super sensitive to drugs. It's not that I'm allergic, but most drugs take effect very well. I attribute that to the fact that I don't take them very often so have no tolerance built up. But that is simply my opinion. I'm not a doctor; I only pretend to be one on the internet.

For example, when I was in labor with Puck, one of the approximately 23,429,875,234 interventions I had was a pitocin drip (after the damn demerol shut me down out of labor, despite having been in labor for 24 hours at that point - see?!). They started me on the lowest setting and it immediately threw me from no labor to transition. My OB stated, verbatim, "I have never ever seen anyone so sensitive to pitocin."

A day after my surgery for Sprite, it became apparent that something was happening with my incision. It turns out that I'm a rare person who is allergic/supersensitive to steristrips and the glue that holds them down. In effect, they gave me a giant chemical burn. However, at the time the doctors weren't sure what was going on and put me on Keflex as a prophylactic measure in case it was an infection and not an allergic reaction.

Then after I got home, I broke out in a severe Keflex rash. Many of you parents might have seen this - totally classic presentation. The HP and I knew what it was right away; he has broken out in it and so has Puck. However, because I'm special like that, I turned into one giant red welt because I had SO MANY spots that they melded together. I even had them in my mouth. Pretty picture no?

It gets more disgusting even better!

The morning after the rash spread like wildfire, I woke up with lips that would make Meg Ryan jealous. It seems that something had caused my lips to blister up and swell to about 4 times their normal size. I mean, Melanie Griffith has NOTHING on me. And to think I was lucky enough to get this look for free while they pay buckets of dough for it.

Ye gods, it was horrific. And it was at that point that I broke down into tears. Post-partum is hard enough on one's vanity. This? Was just way too much.

So I attributed it to the extreme Keflex reaction I had, started icing the hell out of my lips, and waited. And that was that. Right?

Wrong.

It turns out that it wasn't the Keflex rash. I had felt like I was getting a cold sore the night before and had applied Abreva, like I had many times before. For me, Abreva is the medicine of the gods. It's been the only thing that has worked on my cold sores, because despite my freakish drug sensitivity, my cold sores are resistent to help.

And how did I figure out it was the Abreva and not the Keflex rash you ask? Oh let me tell you, I say. You see, a few days ago, I felt like I was getting a cold sore...

You see where this is going, right?

Take that, Angelina, there is a new sexy in town.

(Wah me! The worst part is I still have had to go out in public because vanity is not a reason to keep Puck home from school. OK, the worst part is not having anything that helps my cold sores any longer. Basically suckage all around.)